Friday, January 13, 2006 x 12:56:00 AM

Currently I am reading a book entitled, Zenzele: A letter for my daughter – A novel. I borrowed this book two weeks ago and I am only at the second chapter.

I have never been a fast reader. I would like to take time reading a book and enjoy its content and absorb its every passionate details and adventure. And most of the time, I am never disappointed.

Well, Zenzele seems to be going on fine now. I enjoy reading about Africa and its many different traditions. I always enjoy reading books of other cultures, always something new to learn, always something ancient to pass on.

“All those memories, all the richness of our little traditions, are yours. You may accept or reject them, but they form your foundation. They are your very roots. In years to come you will be nurtured by them.”

Suddenly after I read that paragraph, I am reminded of my younger days. I was reminded of my beautiful cousins and the things we did when we were young.

I share a special bond with these people. Sometimes I am divided into two, when cousins from both sides gather in my house. I am closer to my cousins from the paternal side because most of them live in the east whereas my maternal cousins reside in the west. Even though both sides are of different backgrounds, I love them all. I still do.

The paternal side: We call ourselves the Ujangz. Our late grandfather was Haji Ujang Bin Jaalam. Such a kampung name. I later learned that during his time, that name was a hit. Hehe! Wow how times have changed. A name starting with Siti or even Abdul would send present children to endless shame. (I am so going to get it.)

But again I am only talking about the cousins who are born in the years 1981 to 1988. Yes we do come in batches, the reason because my dad is the youngest of ten children. And if you put an average of 3 children for each family, there would be 30 children altogether. 34 to be exact. And including my nephews and nieces that would be 34 + 6 = 40.

So my batch of cousins is the active ones. We are very open and very lovable.

I am sad that I am not close to the cousins beside mummy. They are nice people, all of whom tries hard to reach for their dreams and ambitions only to be pulled down by financial woes and internal conflicts. I still love them.

In fact, recently an act of love touched me. A fellow cousin stood up for me. His friend described me as “gayish”. My cousin was offended and admonished his friend for such a remark.

Though I was not offended, but such an act really showed how much this cousin of mine loves me. He even said, “That gayish guy is my favourite cousin.”

I mean I do not get that everyday. And what is surprising is, he tries so hard to connect with me and I am all the way in the east, perpetually busy. I never did take time to love him and understand him. Guilty as charged.

I told this cousin of mine… “I spent years ‘programming’ myself to take such remarks as a compliment rather than a mockery. I mean it is nice to know that you are noticed by being yourself. And I am sure with such a description, I am indeed being my true self.”

Hey as long as I am Real right?

Hehe.

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