Tuesday, June 20, 2006 x 10:17:00 PM

Cynthia asked, “ What does the winning group have that we don’t?”

A good choreographer.

I know where I stand. I know how much my seniors have done to be where they are.

Maybe it is true what Abg Kamel said…

Young arts activists nowadays are all rushing to be at the top… what happen to slow and steady wins the race.

I don’t deny I am one of those people who want to be at the very top when I am very young. Just hoping to carve a legacy early. That’s all.

But Abg has a point. Why am I rushing? When I go slow and explore…

Maybe I am just afraid of competition. I don’t wish to be left out in the race. I want to be one of those people that people look up too… But its too early…

Maybe I am also afraid of not being able to reach my goal… when I am alive…

Maybe I am afraid of losing my placing and credibility…

Hehe. I worry too much.

I’ve been really depressed lately. Mostly because of the competition. I am a liar if I say I don’t expect anything from the competition. Was just feeling sad that 3 months of hard work didn’t surmount to anything. What I am sad about most is that my dancers left empty-handed…

Everyday I watched my piece and I realise that the girls did try to pull through. But I guess the major flaw cannot be hidden.

We danced as individuals. Not as a team. Frankly, I do not know what else I can do to make them as team. They are all so different. I know they tried and they are all good friends… but… when it comes to the stage… even though they tried to hide… they were outshining one another. A major boo boo…

But they tried. I know. They did.

Girls… SNT has gone through so much all this years. Constant changes. Constant improvements. But complacency still lies…

Now its up to the current batch to do something about it…

I’ll be gone soon… And SNT will always be in my heart… I’ll see what I can do to keep the group going… I hope that the alumni will always be open to help. :)